Morning Coffee Mar 2018

Living In the Fast Lane When You're Slowing Down ...

Oh Boy ... I received a message on my FB this morning that said, "Good Morning, Joyce. It is going to be a rainy day today, so stay dry," or something like that. I found the sun shining brightly, and the morning warmer than the preceding days. Feeling good, I decided to treat myself to coffee first before doing chores. My English Bulldog Pervis had obviously gone down to impose himself upon his favorite neighbors (Jodi and Rudy) who are staying in our guest cottage. Jodi can't resist the pitiful bulldog whimper bark (you would have to hear it to believe it) outside her door, so she lets him inside where he takes over her 130 lb Rottweiler's bed and plays with his toys. Rudy could resist Pervis's pleading outside forever. I gave Josie ...the little French Bulldog...a piece of cheese, so she wouldn't beat me too death with her short legs as a way of reminding me she gets it after I pour my coffee. Ahhh...pure bliss.

Oh ..you know, I might as well call our medical insurance companies to confirm they have the correct addresses and have finally given credit not only for our payments showing we are paid up until May of 2018. I call the first division to find a very pleasant and seemingly efficient lady confirming our medical insurance is paid and that it is paid in advance. She tells me our membership in AARP will end in July of this year and asks if I want to pay that now and if I do, I will be able to get a five year membership for $63.00. Why not? I realize at my age it is a risky bet, but I won't have to worry about where they send that bill or if one of the 50 advertisements to buy a membership we receive annually is really a membership invoices. They have an automated secure system, and I can plug in the card numbers. She tried 4 times with one bank account, 2 times with another bank account and finally an American Express card and all were rejected. Now that raised my concerns and probably my blood pressure, so while she was talking, I went on line to make sure someone had not robbed our bank accounts last night while we were sleeping. I see the effort debits in my accounts plus the credits which followed. AARP was rejected the payments ...not the banks. Then she decided, with my permission, of course, to do the direct check through one of the banks. That was rejected, and she said her computer was saying we are already members. So ...not my systems at all...but caused by their systems. I asked her to connect me up with RX division, which she tried and that failed too. We had already said our pleasant goodbye's with her thanking me for my patience (if she only knew) and my thanking her for her efforts and attitude, so when the transfer failed, I just hung up and called their number myself. I can assure you the representative who took the call was in serious need of mental health treatment. He was so manic I could see it through the telephone. He asked my name 3 times, my husband's name at least 5 times, membership numbers on each of us and then confused the two. None of that caused me to whip out a diagnosis. It was the voice. I know what the pitch of a manic voice sounds like and when coupled with a robotic presentation (no, it was not a computerized voice), and an accomplishment of nothing ... ZERO ...in 5 minutes of being on the phone, I told him I would have to call back. I didn't add because I want to talk to a sane person. I just said I would have to call back.Now ask me how good that morning coffee was before doing my chores. Husband is now up. Pervis has now returned. Renzo is waiting to be fed. Husband is waiting to be fed. Thankfully Josie is sunbathing in the other room. Oh ...and thank you God for my many blessings. I have food and shelter, love, and healthy daughters and a healthy son and healthy granddaughters ...and well, you know. ~DrJ51

Political Discussions With Children - Feb 2018

I noticed when Granddaughter Carson was visiting this past weekend that she was aware of the school shooting in Florida. She was able to discuss the issue from a ten year old child's perspective. Many would tell you that children should not listen to the news, nor get involved in political discussions at home. I totally disagree. In my opinion, if families are not discussing their own political beliefs and stating reasons why they hold them, children are totally vulnerable to the teachings in the classroom, which may be in direct opposition of a family's opinion. In other words, the family influenced side of the brain would be a blank slate, and the community at large influence would be filled with the teachings of the beliefs of others. Family political discussions allow children the opportunity to ask questions, and in most cases, leads to a discussion of history ... as it really happened. 

Watching the news keeps children apprised of current events, which should always be topics of discussions within the family structure. When I was born, my oldest bother was a Marine fighting on the front lines in all of those well known historical battle grounds. My father had two brothers and a son over there risking their lives daily fighting for the freedom of others, so he never missed a news report that he could get on the radio. From as early as 3 or 4 years old, I recall hearing the daily news, including Paul Harvey out of Chicago saying "Bad news tonight" as he began the war news report. My father would raise one finger in the air, and if I didn't see it, he would say, "Sister ...Be quiet so Daddy can hear the news." That meant I was quiet and listening. He was always ready to explain what it meant if I asked. 

When we all gathered around our family dinner table every night, there were many topics of conversation. Instead of Family Dinner, we could have appropriately called those times Family Value System Training Sessions. When enjoying Mother's delicious meals and discussing our individual experiences of each day, it seemed a perfect time in such a relaxing environment to have philosophical, political and religious discussions. There was no prohibited subjects. Sufficient time was given to all concerns. 

It is a choice that parents make, of course, but I strongly recommend that people realize what you are not teaching in the home will be discussed outside the home. You may want to think about making sure your opinions are given equal opportunity in your children's brains.~DrJ51

Mental Health 2018

The tragic school shooting in Florida on Valentine's Day, which has resulted thus far in the death of 17 people.  I am reminded of our failing mental health system throughout America ...

So many families try to get help for their loved ones when they know mental health treatment is needed. It can be an impossible assignment. Often, families are told "we can't do anything until he or she does something." In the heat of the moment of my mental health advocacy days, I often would say, "I believe we have given the mentally ill population the right to live on the streets and starve too death." 

Why does this country support spending billions on relocating non citizens here and helping people who live in other nations around the world while we literally ignore an insidious disease that affects almost every family in America in some way? Is it because mentally ill people cannot be looked upon by politicians as a dependable voting base? I have watched California, a state that even proudly announces it offers sanctuary to people illegally entering our borders, toss the responsibility for mental health services back and forth between Sacramento and local counties as if it is a hot football. It is a controversial issue for politicians, and they just don't want to get involved with something which doesn't guarantee votes in their next election and actually could cost them votes. Mental health professionals and families share in the responsibility for the failure of the mental health system. Instead of standing united for common causes and needs of the mentally ill, professionals bicker over territory, and families criticize the services they do have until they influence providers into serving other populations. 

When then Governor Reagan supported serving mentally ill people in the community in the 1970's, the Unions fought hard to keep mental health dollars in the state hospitals and psychiatric medical facilities throughout the state. The Unions won, and the patients lost. That resulted in the patients returning to the community, but the dollars did not follow them. Those newly released patients had to pay for halfway housing with the money they received from Supplemental Security Income (aka SSI). SSI was funded by federal dollars with the state providing a small additional amount. It barely covers the cost of a room today and certainly doesn't leave any dollars for food, not to even mention other of life's necessities.

On the other hand, when the State Department of Developmental Services began transferring developmentally disabled clients out of the state hospitals, they literally sent the money from the state hospital budgets to local 24 hour centers. A broad array of ancillary services also were developed at the same time to support all identifiable needs during and following the transition to the community. The advocacy network for the developmentally disabled population did stand united and still do today when seeking funding for developmentally disabled citizens.

When removing people from 24 hour supervised medical facility settings that provide food and shelter, common sense would tell us that same need for 24 hour supervision and food and shelter should be funded in the community in rehabilitation settings. 24 hour services should have priority when developing appropriate mental health systems in the communities. That is exactly what was done when designing a community system for developmentally disabled citizens. 24 hour services are always the first priority when removing developmentally disabled people from 24 hour supervised medical facilities, and the ancillary services are developed as needs arise and money is available. Unfortunately, the mental health dollars that should be used to fund 24 hour services and a broad array of ancillary services as is done for the developmentally disabled in California seem to get lost somewhere along the way between Sacramento and the patients. 

The bottom line is you have two distinct populations in California who have a multitude of similar needs for housing and assistance with their daily needs. Yet, one is being funded appropriately and the other has been left to make it on their own. When they do try to access mental health services, most are turned away today. When a family is fortunate enough to get someone admitted to a psychiatric hospital, they meet up with another set of complicated rules and laws which are supposed to protect the patient, but instead, they ultimately cause harm to the patient and their families.~DrJ51

The Billionaire ... 12/17/2017

Here I go again ...neglecting my Blog.  It is almost Christmas Eve, and my last entry was Thanksgiving Eve.  Even after all of these years, i still have not conquered the problem I have with self discipline.  It's amazing that I could handle several business matters and school often at the same time and never miss a deadline.  That's not to say, however, I met demands in advance.  I am always the one crossing the finish line at the midnight hour.

I woke up this morning thinking about how nice it was to see my husband feeling so good yesterday.  I was reminded of days past when he would supervise his "men," the seemingly never ending construction workers who passed through our lives almost on a daily basis at one of our properties and all too often in our personal home.  Jerry met the outdoor crew that arrives here every Saturday, and he spent time with them pointing out some assignments first with the landscaping and then he offered to pay them a bonus in cash before they left if they would reload his big trailer with items that were situated in a couple of places on the property, so he can take it to the dump.  They were happy, he was happy, and I was delighted.  Saying I was delighted might be an understatement.  He was always able to get so much out of his workers when he was available to them.  I can remember a few times the carpenters would walk through my house and ask me "Where are the plans?"  They were referring to Jerry.  It meant they had come upon an issue that needed his consultation.  I also recall two screw ups when he wasn't present, and he should have offered an opinion.   I found one to be comical, since I knew that the next year the cabinet would be removed anyway, but they actually shortened (sawed)  a cabinet in the wrong place to accommodate a temporary brace.  The other one I have lived with for many years, and it still bugs me if I give it any of my attention.  They installed a sliding glass door with a big beautiful view window above it.  Instead of leaving some wall between the window and the sliding glass door, they placed the window at the immediate top of the sliding glass door.  That caused the height of the top of the window to be slightly shorter (ceiling to window top) than the other huge windows in the room.  I use drapery rods to correct the mistake, but if I were younger and had lots of years left, I would have it moved today.  I saw it right away and pointed it out to the carpenters, but they told me it would be too difficult to change it.  I know now that it would have been fairly easy to change it at that point, because drywalling had not been done or any finish work, but you know, you pick you battles in life and I always try to use my energies fighting off the ones that can't be avoided.

Thinking about Jerry and how well he always knew the people working for him cause my mind to wander to the reason the President of the United States knows the needs of the common man in spite of the fact he is a billionaire.  Donald Trump has worked in construction most of his life.  He grew up in the industry.  When you read of his history, you find he always seemed to feel most comfortable with the average people ...the man on the street if you will.  He was a leader in the property development and building industry.  When you work side by side with the men digging the tranches, driving the heavy equipment, pouring the cement, hammering the nails, installing the drywall and painting the buildings, you get to know the reality of living the simple life.   A good construction boss often will hang out while his workers are sharing their homemade lunches in the shade of a tree.  My husband would usually have a couple of six packs with him on Friday evenings after work when he handed out the pay.  Time to relax, discuss what had been done, talk about what would happen next week and laugh about the humorous experiences that inevitable happen on a job site during the week.    That boss knows the hardships his workers face when a child is sick and someone needs an advance on his pay.

When you compare that experience to the average politician who grows up with an advantage in life, goes off to college to party and grab a bachelor's degree in political science or psychology while knowing when that is finished, he will spend three years in law school with a plan to go to work for a politician or in a law office for a few years before running for office, there doesn't seem to be much opportunity for that man (or woman) to really know or understand the common man who will never go to college, but will make the greatest contribution to keeping America safe and moving forward.

While some may wonder why the people would vote for a billionaire when on its face, it would look like they have nothing in common, I believe it is because the billionaire relates to them.  While most of our politicians have spent the past several years guessing at which decisions to make, Donald Trump was out there working directly with the people ...in the trenches.  He knows what they want and what they need to make this country great again.  The answer lies ...not in creating a path for the people.  The answer lies in government getting out of the way, so the people can create their own path to success. ~DrJ

Thanksgiving Eve 2017

Sometimes you just stop ...and recognize your blessings. This is one of those moments. My life mate of 43 years is sitting in a chair across the room. Although I may not have always recognized his love and what he was doing for me at the time he was doing it throughout our long life together , I recognize it now. I see it in the Magnolia trees planted outside my personal bathroom window where they can be seen from my jacuzzi tub. I see it in the jacaranda trees when remembering when I told him I loved the purple trees growing throughout San Diego. I see it in the gifts that he has given me. I certainly see it when driving home from Alpine a few days ago, and he said, (out of the blue) "You know ...I would step in front of a train to push you out of the way to save you. You know that. Right? I would give my life without a second thought for you to live." Yes, I do know that. My first born, a son, called me today, and I so enjoyed our conversation. Thank you God for him and his integrity, intelligence and compassion. He is the glue today that holds it all together. I am so thankful for my daughter in law, Katherine. Finally...is all I can say.  :-) She is perfect for him. My adorable granddaughters ... ages 26 and 10, respectfully, are healthy and enjoying life, and I so thank God for the wonderful blessings of healthy grandchildren. I am thankful for my son in law, who may have the biggest heart in San Diego County. I am thankful for my daughters. I can't imagine life without them. Tomorrow is another day ...a day of Thanksgiving. I am thankful for that.~drj51

Water Heater Saga

November 13, 2017...

Our driveway is quite steep if walking up it from the lower security gate. The lower garage on the property sits under the guest house cottage but faces the lower driveway, of course, since the pool is in front of the cottage. Yesterday Husband went down to the lower garage to continue his efforts to hook up a new water heater (Day 7 or 8) ...but this time, he was gone seemingly forever. Somewhere on this property, I believe, we still have a golf cart, which probably needs a battery charged or something but be that as it may, I knew if I walked down to check on him, I would have to walk back. I would have two choices. I could walk up the stairs at the side of the garage and go through the rose garden pathway. That is probably the easiest way. However, my concern for the length of time he was down there coupled with knowing he was working on electrical caused me to make the trip.

I walk into the garage, and he is back in the corner with his hands over his head working on electrical wiring. I saw red wiring, green wiring, black wiring and blue wiring. He was telling me that Don had messed everything up with the wiring, and he was trying to straighten it out. I saw bare wires without clips on the ends, but most were clipped. I stepped far enough away from him that should he light up, I wouldn't join him. I kid you not.

Anyway, I encouraged him to give it a break and asked if he would reconsider calling our electrician. He said "No, I just need to rest." So up the hill we go together ...stopping half way on the corner to rest and then trekking on up the hill to the house. He said, "Oh, they finally took those trees out. I was hoping they would." I believe he was talking about the apple trees, which seem to have come up on the short end of our watering system. I was happy to see trimmed bushes and blooming plants in the old rose garden. The rose garden is empty of roses now, but we still call it the rose garden. It has a Magnolia tree in it and other plants with flowers. There may be a rose bush left but I didn't see one from the driveway side. It also has palm trees growing now along the edge of the driveway. I suspect Husband wants to replace the area where the apple trees once stood with palm trees too.

This morning, he (Husband) got up an hour earlier than he normally gets up ...so he got up at 10 AM, walked over to the telephone and called our electrician. You know ...Clint Eastwood says, 'Make my day." Well, that made my day to know the saga of the cottage's hot water heater would soon be over.

A Technical Sorta Guy ...

My poor husband has so much trouble using his cell phone. He tried to call me yesterday while he was out and was unable to call. As I was typing this, I just realized I can probably set his phone up, so he can call home without difficulty. Anyway, he loves technology. If it were not for him, I would probably still be using an old fashioned dial phone. When car phones first came out, he had one installed in my 380 SL. You know, that little phone saved me one evening when I had a flat and was on my way home from an evening class. I called him, and he told me to drive it. I was trained never to drive on a flat, because it could ruin the rim. He said, "Drive it to the next exit with a service station, and I will met you there. I don't give a d**n about the rim on the car." Somewhere along the way, I found myself with a pager clipped to my hip and carrying a "heavy" cell phone around. I rebelled after a few years of wearing a pager and said, "If my staff have to call me when there is an emergency instead of taking care of it themselves, then I need to do a better job of training my personnel." A couple of government agency representatives didn't like that, but they had a hard time challenging my unwillingness to place my patients at risk. All of the above was replaced with a small cell phone a seemingly hundred years ago now ...and I seem to be stuck with this one. And you know ...since my technology man is struggling with technology these days, I have a feeling my equipment will become more and more outdated as the years go by. 

He doesn't give up easily ...as evidenced by his asking me to look at something this morning. He led the way and then pointed at the wall where my thermostat was yesterday. Last night after I went upstairs, he obviously had installed a new thermostat, and he was proud. He said, "If you are in North Carolina, you can control this thermostat from there with your smart phone." I just can't leave my country roots behind, obviously, as I said, "Well, I am not in Noth Carolina. I am here, and actually, I would much prefer controlling the thermostat in North Carolina from San Diego. However, I AM impressed. Wow!" Now THAT is what he wanted to hear. 

I once told him that I think what I found most attractive about him was the fact he is unpredictable. There have been times during our marriage that isn't so good, but for the most part, it goes a long way in preventing boredom and I get bored easily.~DrJ51