The Holiday Season...2008

It seems that "the hurrider I go, the behinder I get" during this significant month of December. Because of regulatory changes a few years ago, the State of California Community Care Licensing Division has decided I need to license our equestrian center. When we started the program in 1986, the representatives from both Community Care Licensing and San Diego Regional Center didn't require a license due to the unique nature of the service. We operate what is officially categorized (by the State Department of Developmental Services)as a Behavior Management Day Training Program. This means we work with adults with developmental disabilities (mild retardation) who have behavior problems. Their needs could be compared to teenagers with serious behavior issues. The program runs six hours per day Monday through Friday. Because I have not licensed a new program for several years, I have had to renew my CPR and First Aide training which required a day of my time, obtain a new physical and TB clearance (a 2 trip to the doctor process) and complete a massive amount of paperwork all as a part of the licensing process. Being the compulsive person that I am, in the process of gathering existing paperwork such as personnel policies to include in the application packet, I find myself updating several of our forms and policies and procedures. This includes medication procedures, disaster plans, hiring practices, organizational chart, and trust me, the list only gets longer as the days go by. It seems there is a written procedure requirement for just about every step that we could possibly take these days. Either due to the fact that regulations have changed which require updating or because my personnel have copied forms over and over for the past several years and only people with "superman" vision can see them, I have spent hours on the computer preparing the application. I have had to replace cartridges in printers and buy another ream of computer paper. My deadline is to have this done by Monday, so it is turned in before the end of the year. I must not fail to mention that although the program has been operating for 22 years, I have to complete a proposed profit and loss operating statement not only on this program but on all of the programs licensed by the corporation, as well as a balance sheet. The purpose of requiring a profit and loss statement is to insure that someone who is proposing to operate a new program has the capital to do so. That is a good thing, but rather a moot point when the program has been there since 1986, has 16 employees on site and obviously, they wouldn't be there if they weren't getting a paycheck. We also have to prove that we have control of the property, which seems like another moot point. We will require a fire inspection, which is another good thing but slows down the process waiting for the fire department to respond to the state's request for inspection. It's a good thing we have a special use permit on the property for a daycare/school operation, or we would have a big problem. We obtained that in 1987 when our neighboring ranches didn't want adults with special needs riding horses in their neighborhood. Thankfully, they have long since come to accept us or at least tolerate us. I believe I will have my packet ready for submission on Monday once I modify our medication procedures and prepare the financial information this weekend. If I were a gambler, I would bet on a belief that something will be missing. If the packet is determined to be complete, we will be ready for the next phase which should be very interesting. There will be an inspection of the physical plant. I strongly feel that we will be the first horse ranch in the state of California to be licensed by Community Care Licensing Division normally an agency that licenses traditional daycare programs in school type environments and group homes. Oh well.....that' what we get for creative thinking. We have been noted as being avant garde in the development of mental health services in the past. We will take that as a compliment and march on hoping to come out the other side of the burearcratic maze with a positive attitude and a few new ideas to better serve our clients. In spite of all of the extra assignments, we managed to have a wonderful Christmas celebration as did those we serve in all of our programs....whether licensed or unlicensed. Blessings to all.....

"WE" Have Alzheimer's.....

The first time I heard a young couple say "We are pregnant," I was taken aback. What does that mean? "We are pregnant." I later decided that "we" was a perfect way to describe pregnancy. I am sure any husband who has lived through nine months of pregnancy with a female understands it even better than me. He may be the one who rushes out into the streets late at night to find fuel for the latest craving. He is the one who comforts when the tears come for no apparent reason at any given moment. He is the one who cries with her when they see the baby inside Mommy's tummy the very first time. He is the one who says, "I really wanted a boy...or girl...whatever the sonagram shows."

Now let's travel forward a few decades and guess what? "We" have Alzheimer's. Although the diagnosis has been given to my husband, is there seriously anyone out there who wouldn't believe that the diagnosis belongs to both of us?

What does it mean? It means just about everything the diagnosis of "you are pregnant" means to the young couple. It means our entire future is forever changed. It means we have to prepare. It means we have to support each other more than we have ever had to do in the past. It means there is something even more important than us that needs attention. It means that life as we have known it is no more.

Oh well, Jerry has the diagnosis, but yeah..."we" have Alzheimer's.

Pillars of Salt...

I think we may be getting ready to turn into pillars of salt if we don't clean up our act here a little bit. Most of you remember the Bible story of Babylon. Well, we have been living the good life, or so we thought. Homes have been getting larger every year for at least three decades now. Cars are plentiful and come in all colors, shapes and sizes. Even teenagers own cars. Teenagers from families with poverty level incomes somehow end up with a car to drive. Who ever, besides me, has heard of getting a new pair of shoes for school once per year and maybe a new pair for Easter Sunday? Most kids have several pairs of shoes today. Who ever heard of kids over 12 running around withOUT money in their pocket, besides me? Teens roam the shopping malls spending at least $15.00 to $50.00 per weekend. When asked what they like to do today, many kids respond with "shopping." It's a hobby. When did shopping become an activity? I recall shopping as being a necessity and not really much fun when I was a child. Of course, my parents never gave me the privilege of just roaming around through stores looking for something to buy and try to decide what item was the most tempting. Instead, we were "shopping," because we needed something in the way of food or that once per year new pair of school shoes. Otherwise, we would have been at home or working. Why has there been such an increase in childhood diabetes? Could it be caused by no exercise and lots of money to spend on fast food? No physical education program at school, because the school's fear lawsuits if someone gets hurt. Little outdoor activity at home, because children have a multitude of electronics designed to entertain them while sitting on a couch.

Look...I'm not advocating for a return to a Walton Family (Spencer's Mountain) type of lifestyle. I'm just saying, I think we may be getting ready to turn into "pillar's of salt," especially if we don't just take advantage of our economic disaster by re-examining our lifestyles. I have been one of the most guilty of buying things we want but don't need. However, I have an advantage that a lot of people do not have and that is I have lived and experienced another way. Too many people can't even relate to only buying what you need and learning that you really don't need very much to live productively and peacefully. In other words, by today's standards, if someone examined my childhood, they would say that I was poverty stricken. If you asked me, I would tell you that I had a wonderful childhood and was raised by two great parents who showed me that you don't need money and things to be happy. I really hope people don't waste a lot of time fearing the future right now. We are all in this together, and we will make it. Poor isn't so bad. In fact, all too often money and things may just get in the way of happiness.

Just sharing my thoughts today...

Day Off...

I have a stack of paperwork that needs to be completed very soon. My stack includes a licensing application for a day program. If you have never seen the numbers of forms that have to be completed in the State of California in order to license a day program, well, you don't want to see them. Years ago (1973), I saw a psychic in Chula Vista, California. Fast forward to 2008, and I have lived long enough to see all of her predictions come true. Once I started seeing things happen that she had predicted, I tried to find her again to no avail. Anyway, she told me then that I would be going into a business that would require lots and lots and lots of paperwork "massive amounts of paperwork." She told me I would be very successful and that I wasn't able to see my potential. She measured with her hands showing me what I thought about my potential level and then reached her hands skyward to show me the reality of my performance potential. A wise woman, indeed, and one of strong faith. She was wise, because that skyward reach applies to all of us. We are limited by our own opinions of ourselves. Looking inward inhibits progress. Its only when we look outward towards the needs of our fellow human beings that we reap so many rewards.

Well, on that day I met with the psychic, I wasn't even planning on opening a business...ever. Amongst other predictions, she predicted my father's passing, my mother's long life and "blossoming" in later years, my son's future talent and the personality of my daughter. Amazing!

Back to the paperwork, I probably would have been too overwhelmed to take on the challenge had I only known about the paperwork. I didn't, so here I am buried in it, but I am going to climb out today and go spend the day with my two granddaughters. The 15 month old is taking her last swimming lesson for the winter today, and I am going to watch. The 17 year old is shopping for her friends, and I am going to tag along. I know I will pay for it tomorrow by working longer hours to get that paperwork completed, but today I am going to take a break and count my blessings for the privilege.

Dear President Elect Obama and First Lady Mrs. Obama...

I am so happy for your daughters that you have agreed to afford them a puppy when you move into your new home. Taking into consideration President Elect Obama's requirement to avoid "sissy dogs," I would like to recommend that you select an English bulldog for several reasons. I will list a few below:

1) English bulldogs are definitely NOT "sissy dogs." I have two English bulldogs, who have Great Dane neighbors. I don't know if you are familiar with the size of Great Danes, but trust me, they are the size of a small pony. Some dogs peer through fences. Great Danes simply look over the top. My English bulldogs go "toe to toe" at that fence with dogs about five times their height. They are definitely not "sissy dogs."

2) English bulldogs are healers. You can check out my website at www.drjoyceswineheart.com and read an article that was published in one of our local newspapers about Maxwell, my male English bulldog. It is entitled "The Healer." This means that your bulldog will be there for you during those most trying days. When the rest of your family is sleeping, he (or she) will be there patiently waiting for you to unwind form the day's events. English bulldogs are very sensitive, and can tune in to your emotions.

3) English bulldogs can keep up with your daughters' energy levels. Whoever said English bulldogs are lethargic have never seen them around children. They absolutely adore kids of all ages. My dogs, Maxwell and Lilly, are so excited when children come to visit us.

4) English bulldogs will greet and welcome all of your guests. In other words, they will make all of those diplomats and foreign leaders feel right at home. They will even be willing to sit by the table while they eat, adoringly look at all of them and be forever grateful for any "offerings." This is good, because it means if some of your guests don't like what is being served, there is an English bulldog available who will be more than happy to help them discreetly pass their food under the table. You will never find one morsel on the floor, so housekeeping staff will love the bulldogs.

5) You will also be glad to know that you don't have to worry about buying doggies beds or where to put them, because the English bulldogs will sleep with you. They like people beds. I guarantee you they will also want to sleep on your pillow, so you should buy an extra pillow for the bed (one for each bulldog.) I know you have only promised one dog, but English bulldogs are best when they come in pairs.

6) A word of caution...you will have to be careful what you discuss in front of them. They understand English. They don't speak it yet (probably will in their next doggie life) but they certainly understand most words and short sentences. We actually spell words in our house to keep them from knowing our discussions. They especially understand "treats," "do you need a Benadryl?", "we are going bye bye", "go find daddy," "it's bedtime," and numerous other phrases. Think not? I'll bet you 1/10th of the money going to rescue the money market that you will agree they understand English phrases. Within a few weeks in the White House, they will understand words like "darn Republicans," "where's the kids?" "where's Michelle," (they will lead you right to her) and "give me some privacy." Big problem...they will lead people right to your hiding place. Keep in mind you can buy their "silence" any day with a treat.

7) Speaking of treats, you will have to train your chefs to not feed the bulldogs, or you will have SPCA after you for over feeding. They never say no to food.

Seriously, you just have to give bulldogs a chance to live in the White House. They are such a dignified breed that offers your family intense love, loyalty, laughter, and the press will love them. They love to travel. They love motorhoming, boating down the Colorado river and even riding dune buggies in the California deserts. Our bulldogs even love NASCAR. Can you just imagine your bulldogs' love for riding on Air Force One?

Respectfully....

Sol's Challenges....

Sol is a friend of mine. She has worked for me since 1997, and during that time we have become friends. Her given name is Soledad, and like her name, she is a bright and shining member of society. Sol's life has not been easy. She was raised on a ranch in Mexico. After her father died, one of her siblings took control of their assets, including the ranch. Sol ended up without her inheritance. She married, and her husband was an alcoholic. After several years, he left her. She lived in Mexico and raised her children by herself. Sol's living situation was not good. Later in life, her mother developed Alzheimer's. Sol took care of her without any help from her siblings. The disease affected her mother so badly that Sol would have to tie her to herself to keep her mother from getting seriously hurt. Sol could not even take a shower without someone watching her mother. Before her own mother's disease progressed, Sol took care of my mother in my home following Mother's stroke. She was always so patient and loving. She called my mother "Grandma," and Mother absolutely loved Sol. I made a vow then to make sure Sol has income as long as I have income. She was such a blessing to our family when we needed one so badly.

When her mother's illness worsened, Sol had to leave us and take care of her in Mexico. Her mother passed away in 2000, the same year my mother passed away. We cried together.

Sol's son was killed this year in a car accident in Arizona. He was her only son, and she was very proud of his accomplishments. He was an entertainer. She was devastated. She brought many photos and newspaper stories surrounding his accident and her loss. I saw a little bit of Sol leave too when he died. Her family told me Sol was having a very hard time accepting the death of her son. Yet, she continued to work because she had grandchildren to feed. Her son in law left her daughter with no income and three kids.

Someone stole all of the contents of Sol's house this year when she was in San Diego taking care of her nephew's mother. We loaded up as much as we could into her car of items from my house that we no longer need.

This week when Sol arrived at work, I knew something was wrong the minute I saw her face. Sol's niece was killed in Tiajuana last weekend. Her niece's baby who was one year old was shot twice in the forehead and once in the back of the head. The father of the baby was injured. The baby was flown to Children's Hospital here in San Diego, and is in critical condition. The family were innocent victims traveling through town in their car when a drug cartel battle broke loose in the city. Just another day for the cartel but tragically, another challenge for Sol, which will impact her life forever. She is questioning why so many losses. Her faith is strong. She says, "My niece is up there with my God," as she points towards the heavens. The baby's dad is in the hospital, and the grandparents are staying by the side of the baby. If the baby lives, it will never walk again. It is blind and deaf. One minute before the gunfire, the baby was a happy, healthy one year old. Sol cries as she talks about the baby's injuries and she tells me we need to be careful and take care with Carson, our little one year old granddaughter. In spite of her loss, she offers love and concern for our little one and our family. I believe her parents must have known when they named her Soledad that she would be bringing sunshine into the lives of others. The bible addresses the blessings in store for the long suffering. Sol is long suffering. God bless her....my friend.

Good Friends and Sad Times.....

Another beautiful morning here in San Diego County, although we are under fire watch through the weekend due to our hot dry weather. Our temperature is supposed to drop a couple of degrees per day for the next few days leading us back to unbelievably perfect temperatures. I love this time of the year. I grew up on a farm in Southern Illinois, and fall was always my favorite season. I loved school, and it meant it was time to go back to school. I loved the holidays, and fall arriving also meant that Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas were just around the corner. All of these holidays were highly celebrated events both at home and school. Each year, our little one room country school presented a play for families. I always had a significant role to play and loved it. I guess one room schools are a thing of the past now. I always loved the fact that I could hear the lessons of every grade and believe it helped enhance my education.

Although it is a favorite time of the year for me, it is a bad time for some of our friends. The economy is taking its toll on both large and small businesses.

Friends are struggling to keep their businesses going, and others are concerned about job layoffs. Since we are sixty six years old, some friends are watching their 401-K retirement funds and stock investments dwindle away. It's really frightening for people who know they are too old and if not too old, too tired to start all over.

Jerry spent yesterday with a dear friend, who is like a son to Jerry. We both love this guy. He is in his 40's, has been very successful and is now selling off prized possessions and choosing which properties will have to go into foreclosure. In other words, he's trying to decide what goes first. He has a beautiful wife and two daughters. I am scared for him. I am most concerned right now with his mental health. He just looks defeated. He has always been vibrant and energetic. He has worked so hard the past fifteen years developing his business. Fifteen years ago, he lost a beautiful infant daughter. When we met him, it was shortly after the baby died. He was grieving. His marriage was in trouble, and he had an overwhelming amount of hospital bills. He came out of that period stronger....stronger marriage...greater appreciation for life and an intense love of his two little daughters. Yesterday he was walking around like a very old man. He isn't sleeping at night, and I know the lonely feeling one has when they wake up in the middle of the night due to a troubled mind. It must be even tougher for him, since this is a second time around that he is having to deal with a financial disaster. I know he isn't thinking of himself. He is concerned for his family. We are already reading of suicides believed to be caused by the collapse of our economy. We didn't know until yesterday just how hard he was being hit. He sells "toy haulers," campers and motorhomes. He has several locations and of course, leases and mortgages to pay. People aren't buying much of anything these days except necessities. Mike is on my prayer list, and we will try to stay close with him.

I think all of America is ready for us to select a president, which should go a long way in taking the "politics" out of the decision making process. This type of problem is worsened during a presidential election year especially since we have a congress controlled by democrats and a republican president. Both parties seem to be afraid of making the other party look good. Our United States economic woes now appear to be contributing to the destruction of the soundness of the world economy.

Perhaps these troubling times are going to have the most impact on our human value system. A re-organization of our personal priorities may be a good thing.

God Bless America.....

Whatever Happened to Integrity....

Beyond the sub-prime mortgages, therein lies another problem. The media would have us believe that the majority of home mortgages now in default was caused by people who held fast to the dream of buying their own home. I don't know much about what happened outside of California, but I am aware of numerous homes going into foreclosure in our state that was caused by people believing they would become rich by becoming a real estate "investor." Many of those people were already living what the media refers to as "the American dream." They owned their homes. However, they saw the rising cost of real estate and decided to captialize on it. They were confident that real estate would keep increasing in value while interest rates would continue to fall. They were comfortable and probably even cozy in their homes, but they wanted more. There is more required to being a successful investor in real estate than just a desire to do so. It's just not that simple. I believe the decision was motivated by a desire to make more money by most of the people in foreclosure in California. Many of them never expected to remain in their "home," and instead bought it with the intention of "flipping" it. That term was used loosely in this state during 2006 and 2007. "Oh, you can buy it, and remodel it and flip it," was heard at almost every real estate showing. I know that, because my husband and I were shopping for a home, so we could downsize. Our youngest left home in 2004 and married in 2006, which just leaves us and the two bulldogs. We heard all of the hype about buying before we sold, because it would be easy to sell our house. We met up with other people looking at average size homes and heard the chatter about flipping houses. When "flipping" interests met up with realtors earning 6% of inflated real estate prices and unethical mortgage brokers qualifying all, (greed meets greed meets greed), it was a match made in heaven. Well, that is until interest doubled, the house didn't "flip" and people couldn't make their payments.

Another falsehood is related to people who really can make their payments, but they don't choose to do that. When some people couldn't make their new increased payments, the foreclosure numbers increased. Home values began to drop. When people decided their home value was less than their loan, it seemed to be an easy decision to just not pay for it. There are people walking away from loans, who have the income and capability of paying the loans but they are taking advantage of the economic situation. Suddenly, instead of looking at the property as their home, they are ready to walk away because they owe more than what the home is worth today. Some would tell me only a fool would pay for a house that isn't worth what is owed on it. I would say that I never bought a "home" with a thought of its future value. There have been times that my home has not been worth as much as the loan on it especially since my husband likes to remodel. For years, we were "over built" for the area. However, since it truly was our home, we didn't treat it as an investment. We were motivated to make our payments, because we loved our home. I personally know people who are just walking away from loans not because they can't pay them, but because they have lost confidence in their "real estate investment." An experienced investor knows to wait for their investment to show a gain again. A homeowner does everything possible to stay in their home if they can make the loan payments, regardless of its value.

We have a financial disaster in our country. Am I insensitive to people who truly are at risk of being homeless? I am concerned for anyone who can't make a living. Do I think there were some innocent people who truly thought they could buy and keep a home in foreclosure now? Yes, I do.

If we are to learn as a nation from what has happened, all people involved need to admit their mistake. It seems as if the decisions that are most apt to get us into trouble are those we make without considering the integrity of what we are doing. Greed and integrity doesn't blend. Packaging mortgage loans filled with deceit do not blend with integrity either. Selling real estate with promises that are not likely to be fulfilled doesn't meet integrity standards. Walking away from debt that you are capable of paying but don't choose to pay is not a demonstration of integrity. This certainly doesn't let our elected officials off the hook either. Integrity is a foreigner, I'm afraid, in our legislative bodies. If we examine this whole situation closely, honesty would have gone a long way to keeping America prosperous. Honesty and integrity do work together and go a very long way in preventing future problems.

Leanne's Baptism!!!

Last evening was very special for our family. My granddaughter, Leanne, was baptized at Foothills Church in Santee. She will be 17 next week on October 9th. Our entire family attended with the exception of my daughter, Jodi, and my husband, Jerry. Jodi had to work. She is a checker with Von's. She would have asked for the day off, but her work schedule was already in place when she found out Leanne was being baptized. However, she sent her love to Leanne. Jerry didn't attend either. He isn't comfortable in public settings anymore, unless he knows people really well. He especially isn't comfortable in settings where he would be in a room full of strangers and be expected to act in a socially acceptable manner. He knows that sometimes his behavior is unacceptable, and I think this either causes or greatly contributes to his anxiety during those times. I always share the details of special events with him, and he seems to enjoy hearing them. He was happy for Leanne and Marty. He did attend Carson's birthday party, but it was held at her home and he knew most of the people who attended. Of course, "Aunt" Dana, "Uncle" Brandon and Baby Carson attended the baptism.

I am so proud of Leanne and her daddy, my son, Marty. It's been a long journey for both of them, but they have certainly had fun along the way. Marty and Leanne's mother were divorced when she was only 2 years and a few months old. They were awarded shared custody with equal time. Leanne has spent one week with her dad and one week with her Mom from that time until this year when she decided she wanted to live with her dad full time. Marty has always considered Leanne's needs first when making any decision in life. I can't summarize in a blog entry what it really means and how it affects your everyday decisions when a parent truly does put their child's interest before their own. Any parents who have done that knows the sacrifices that are made in the best interest of your children. I have never seen anyone hold to that principal as tightly as Marty has throughout Leanne's entire life. I said to him last evening following the service at the church, "Well, Son, I am very proud of you. You have done well. You are almost there when she turns 18 and you can open up the door, kick her in the butt and tell her to go." Of course, we both laughed, because we both know he would never do that. Leanne is dating a very nice young man, and he was there also for her baptism. They both are a couple of good kids...you know, the ones you don't read about in the newspaper. What a glorious moment to see my first grandchild baptized and know she is making a commitment to God. I cried. Thank you, God, for the blessing of Leanne and please keep her near You all of her life. Thank you, God, for the most wonderful blessing of having three kids who are now all adults with a strong faith in God.

Saturday...October 4, 2008

We are having a beautiful fall day in San Diego. We have low clouds overhead and our temperature is in the 70's. I haven't been out there today but love watching the moving low flying clouds outside the windows. In the mid 1990's, Jerry built a huge great room on the west end of our home. I call it my tree house. Since it is on the middle floor of our house, we sit amongst the tops of palms, eucalyptus and pine trees. The large windows facing the south, east and west also allow us to admire amazing sunsets over the ocean, while enjoying early morning sunrises peeking over the mountains to the east. Our southern view is the other side of our little community called Crest. We are called North Crest, and they live in South Crest. The division of the community is created by one road that comes up through the middle of our community. You then have a choice to go back down that road or take one leading down the other side of the mountain to Harbison Canyon. There are only two ways to get into and out of Crest unless you go off roading. It means that most of our traffic belongs here. Tony's market sits between North and South Crest. He carries all of those last minute items you may need to purchase but forgot to buy while you were out shopping such as paper products, milk, eggs, a deli, a pizza oven, liquor stock and lottery tickets. Tony knows everyone in town. In 2003, the fires wiped out about 200 homes up here, which is almost half of the community. Many of the homes in South Crest were one story and built in the 1950's. The new homes are considerably larger two story homes, which gives South Crest residents a better view. Our little town gives us a lot of privacy and the feeling that we really live in the country, although we are only 20 minutes from downtown San Diego and 5 minutes from the freeway. My favorite days are those like today when the wind is picking up, and the clouds are teasing us with a look like there is the possibility of rain. My English Bulldog, Max, is not as pleased with nature's display today. He keeps going over to the windows to peer out below as if he thinks we may need protection now. He's old and tired too, like me, so sometimes he just simply lays down between the windows and me as if he is thinking before they get to me, he will wake up and take care of everything. Just wake me if you need me. I will, Max, .... same to you.....

My Day Compared To What?

I can't say this was a good day for me, but compared to the days of many people right now, I believe it should be a very good day. I don't have a son, daughter or granchild in Iraq. I can't even imagine the fear of the people who have loved ones over there, which has to make my day better than their day. I know there are adults, both young and old, who are extremely worried about their retirement accounts. Although my business stressed me to the limit, I know how good I have it compared to many. Congress did not pass the "bailout" bill intended to rescue the economy. People are frightened about their future. My stress seems minor in comparison. I have a director who is the best I have ever had working for me again, but her need for perfection is taking her to the edge. I hope I gave her the support she needed, but I am stressing over her stress. Our company is financially stretched. We made some major property improvements this year not anticipating a collapsing economy That means we used up a lot of our capital, so now we are capital thin at a time when banks may not be loaning money. Marty is the Chief Financial Officer. He is worried. I am stressing over his stress. He is my son and has always made only the best financial decisions. He is one of those rare people with a credit score in the 800's. I don't worry for myself. I was born on the edge of the depression. I recognize it was different then, as Marty has pointed out to me. We could grow our vegetables. Our water came from the ground. We didn't have electricity, so we didn't need it. I didn't give him a very good answer, because I told him I know that where I grew up is still out there in the heartland, and if necessary, I know we can share it with some of the folks who I love that still live there. That really isn't what keeps me from "losing it" during this trying time. It's just that I have lived long enough to know that whatever happens now, we (the United States of America and its citizens) are all in it together. We are brought closer and learn from our most challenging times in life. I know that either Congress will stop playing politics when our livelihood is threatened and they will pass that "bailout" bill this week, or American citizens will come together to rebuild this country in a way to make it even better than it has ever been in the past. Some of us may have just forgotten along the way or are too young to know how much we share in common with each other. I believe we learn compassion from needing compassion. We learn to be generous when we need others to be generous with us. I hope tomorrow will be better for all...and me too.

A Saturday "Sort Of" Day...

Today was a good day. Jerry and I followed our typical routine of having a cup of coffee while reading our morning paper. We always discuss the news. We watched a friend, Tommy Drissi, race in a televised event followed by a Formula Mazda race in Canada. I geared up for the NASCAR Nationwide qualifying and race, while Jerry took an early afternoon nap. Dana and Brandon (daughter and son-in-law) brought Carson over for me to watch while they spent the afternoon and evening with friends celebrating a birthday. Carson is a pretty "easy keeper." We move the furniture around a bit, so she is trapped in our great room. This keeps her from falling downstairs to the lower floor or trying to climb upstairs to the third floor. Our English Bulldogs, Max and Lilly, always get a little bit crazy when Carson is here. They love the food that finds its way to the floor when she is eating, and Lilly loves her toys. Since I was babysitting, dinner was a couple of chicken pot pies. Carson had her dinner at 6 PM followed by a walk on the deck, so she could ring the bell and the chimes a few times hanging under the eaves of the roof. That is a "must" activity when she is visiting her grandparents. Afterwards she had her bath in the kitchen sink, took her evening bottle and went fast asleep. I completed some crossword puzzles, and Jerry was using his laptop while we both watched Legally Blonde on television. I believe I have seen it at least four times now. Dana called a few times, as she always does when I am babysitting. The first time she called, I said as I picked up the phone receiver, "Stop that or I will slap you." Dana laughed and said, "Sure, Mom." The next time she called I told her I couldn't talk because I was looking for Carson. For some reason, she didn't believe that either. My other granddaughter, Leanne, who is 16 (17 in two weeks)called this evening. She had just arrived at her home following attending her girlfriend's birthday party. We talked for a few minutes and made arrangements to have lunch next week. Dana picked up Carson around 10 PM. She wasn't feeling well and attributed it to a burrito she had eaten earlier. Brandon had a few too many at the party, so he waited in the car when she came in to pick up Carson. Another blessed day.....

Old Favorites and Miscellaneous

You know, I have been thinking about my yesterday blog entry and the man who attends my Rialto Day Program, who resorted to violence when he saw his favorite couch sitting by the dumpster. I feel guilty. It's not a California law, although I won't be surprised to see it in the regulations someday. This is California and if someone suffers in any way, we tend to pass a law that makes sure it never happens again or if it does, someone pays a penalty to the State of California. The reason we had to toss the couch was because representatives of the State of California believe that any material other than leather or something of that type of material that can be wiped clean is unsanitary. I actually see the reasoning behind that recommendation, but I was just imagining today how comfortable he must have felt every day when he could take a break from the routine to relax on his favorite piece of furniture. I remember a couch we had when I was a little girl (a sharecropper's daughter living in Southern Illinois.) My sister in law, Pat, who was a full grown adult, of course, would always sit on the same place on the same spot on our couch everyday. She was a hard working woman and helped my mother with whatever work needed to be done, but when she relaxed, she always sat in the same place. Pat came all the way to Southern Illinois from Boston. She was of Polish descent. Since I was the daughter of a sharecropper, you won't find it hard to believe that our couch wasn't amongst the better built. Only my parents, myself, my brother, Charles (another child and not Pat's husband) and a couple of my truck driving brother (Eddie, Pat's husband's) children lived in the same house, so noone else really sat on the couch for any length of time. My dear sister in law, Pat, sat on that same spot daily when she could take a break from farm work for a couple of years and when you looked at the couch, there was an obvious little caved in area where she sat. I can still remember how really comfortable she looked while sitting there. Sometimes I would sit next to her, and she would talk to me while I colored in my coloring book or worked on my homework. She was always very kind, and I think now that I may have been pretty attached to that couch too. I certainly was attached to Pat. I understand how my developmentally disabled consumer must have felt seeing his favorite spot cast out of the building for garbage pickup as if it meant nothing to anyone. Perhaps it was the place he went to relax when he felt upset. I am sorry now that we didn't let him know that we had to get rid of it before it was dragged out of the building and placed next to the dumpster. Maybe if he had an opportunity to participate in the decision, it would have been easier to accept. We arranged for a company to take the furniture away, but it wasn't soon enough for my consumer. I regret that. Thank you God for today's blessings.

A Somewhat Productive Day

I finally tackled a stack of mail today and spent some time organizing my brief case papers. We had a very hot day in Southern California, and I believe that contributed to the fact that police were called to two of my business locations. In Rialto, California, the police were called to assist in getting a consumer under control who was upset when he saw that an old couch was being removed from the building. The State Dept. of Social Services, Community Care Licensing Division required that it be removed from the building, because in their opinion, it was a cloth material and not sanitary. The developmentally disabled young man who liked to sit on it was outraged when he saw it sitting next to the dumpster. He began attacking personnel immediately after he arrived at the day program. In Lakeside, California a consumer who was recently released from jail became agitated when he was asked to leave the classroom. He became violent and attacked several personnel. The police were called to that site. They waited for the PERT team to arrive and transported him to a psychiatric hospital. He was a member of a street gang prior to going to jail, and had started showing signs of getting involved in gang activity again. Our director of his residential group home is requesting an emergency discharge from our facility from the CCL Department of the State of California.

Dana and Carson came by after they attended a "Mommy and Me" session. Dana needed to sign some documents to change the listing price of their home in North Carolina.

I took several phone calls, ordered some more chairs for the Rialto, California site and wrote a contract for our equestrian training component in Lakeside. As usual, most of my time was spent on the telephone and the internet taking care of business.

Jerry made a deposit in our bank and went to the post office to mail several letters for me. It is really helpful when he makes deposits, buys supplies for our house and picks up the mail.

My granddaughter, Leanne, is supposed to return from camp today. I hope she had a good time.

Jerry has been diagnosed with early Alzheimer's Disease. Yeah, that's an "eye opener." Isn't it? I will talk more about it, I'm sure, but not now.

A Long Day...

Today was a fun day. I took a break from my normal routine and went to my granddaughter's swim training. Carson turned one years old on September 8, 2008. I took photos of her, and actually, I was quite surprised at how well she is doing. She is wearing the little swim float suit now, using her arms to go forward but still fighting it a bit when she is turned over to float on her back. After class, she and her Mommy (my daughter, Dana) and I went to lunch at Olive Garden. After lunch we took Carson to meet my x-husband and father of my other daughter and son, Jim Swineheart and his wife Carol. Since I have a son and daughter (Marty and Jodi) with Jim, he has always been "Uncle Jim" to Dana. Carson enjoyed every minute of our visit especially since their 3 year old grandson entertained her with teddy bears and lots of attention. Jim and Carol warmly welcomed all of us. They have raised several of their grandkids, and we kidded them about leaving Carson. They said they probably wouldn't notice for a couple of weeks that they had another kid. Afterwards we stopped by Carson's "Uncle Marty" (my only son's) home. Carson lives three houses away from Uncle Marty and my other granddaughter (Leanne), so she also was quite comfortable there. After a 15 minute visit, I picked up my car at Dana's home and couldn't believe it was already 4:30 by the time I arrived home where I was greeted by my husband, Jerry and our two English bulldogs, Max (10 years old) and Lilly (5 years old.) Jerry had been flying with his friend, Starr, who owns a helicopter, so he had a perfect day. Anytime Jerry goes flying either in his own airplane or with Starr in his helicopter, it is a perfect day for him. They had flown up to Big Bear for breakfast. I looked through the stack of mail he had picked up at the post office, chatted a bit and Jerry went up to take a brief nap. I watched President Bush's press conference concerning the economy, and around 5:30, Dana and my son-in-law, Brandon brought Carson to me for babysitting. They bowl on Wednesday nights. Carson played for a short while and clearly signed for me that she wanted to eat her dinner. I am amazed at baby's learning to sign so quickly and am glad that Carson has been taught by her parents to use baby sign language. The theory behind signing is that the brain development allows them to learn sign language quicker than speech, so it gives babies an opportunity to communicate before they normally would be speaking. I prepared her dinner, and she ate her entire plate of macaroni & cheese and peas & carrots. Afterwards, we sat out on the deck for a time while her grandfather watered the plants. She likes for me to ring the bell and rattle the chimes hanging under the eaves of the roof over the deck. Of course, the English bulldogs are following her everywhere she goes. That activity on the deck was followed by a bath in the kitchen sink, a bottle and an early bedtime tonight. I think she was exhausted from her busy day of swimming and visits to relatives. Finally, it was time for me to relax. My granddaughter, Leanne, is away at camp. Leanne is 17 and a senior in high school. Yes, I waited that many years to have another grandchild. Leanne comes home tomorrow. Thank you, God, for another blessed day.

What Have I Done?

Ok...I think I have a blog. I think my address is drj5150. I have lived a 5150 life, so it's about time I share my experiences. I am not technically smart. I am very smart, but I failed in technology. Actually, I was never exposed to technology until I was way beyond the quick learning stage in life. What does 5150 mean to me? I live in California. California is my home, because I have lived longer in California than I have lived in any state. The California Welfare and Institution Code, Section 5150 addresses the laws of Involuntary Commitment. If you have ever heard a police radio communication in California and a discussion regarding a 5150 situation, you know that they believe the person involved in the heat of the moment is mentally ill. There are several things you don't know about the event, but you do know that in the opinion of the police officer, he or she believes the person causing a problem in the community is in need of mental health services.