Some people say "but for the grace of God, it could have been I." I can't totally go with that thought. Why? I don't believe that God would choose to take a loved one from one family and protect a loved one from another family because he is selectively passing out grace. I don't have the answer, but it has to be something more than "but for the grace of God." I believe that God's grace encompasses all. When tragedy hits and pain floods through our souls, God's grace is the only thing that moves us forward. Today, however, I am acutely aware of the strangeness of fate. I do believe God can save people from dying, but I have to admit that understanding all about how life and death works...who gets to stay and who doesn't...gets a bit fuzzy for me.
Why am I even writing about this? Well...Sunday, my son who is 43 years old was playing on the dunes in the desert east of San Diego when the off road vehicle flipped. Marty was injured when the roll bar hit his head and shoulder as it overturned. Marty immediately realized he had a concussion. He really didn't know the way back to his camp. He told his daughter that he needed to sit for a few minutes. Soon they were on their way back to camp. He took a hard hit. Even a few hours later, he couldn't remember the details of the accident. Like Natasha, he refused to go to the doctor.
On Monday and less than 24 hours later, Natasha Richardson fell on a beginning ski slope. Her initital symptoms seemed less severe than Marty's symptoms. Yet, today she is gone and he is healing. I remember my dad talking about a scripture in the bible which tells us two men shall be on a rooftop and one shall be taken and one shall be left. He was discussing what he called the end of time. We see "one being taken and one left" in our lives today. One person will survive a major crash and several will die. A shooting leaves some dead others injured.
I am so thankful my son's life was spared from death as a result of an injury that certainly could easily have caused his death. I have thanked God for his life this week. The loss of Natasha from what appeared to be a minor fall on a ski slope should make all of us even more aware that in a second, a loved one can be gone. But Why?
There is so much we won't understand until we get to the other side. I always have loved the old gospel song "We will understand it better by and by...by and by when the morning comes." The loss of babies.....the burdens some people must carry throughout life...and so many mysteries will always be just that until we meet our Savior. It's all about faith. If we knew and had total understanding, it wouldn't require faith. In the meantime, thank you God for our blessings and someday I will understand it better.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Mission Accomplished.....
Thanks to some very good friends and a half dozen understanding strangers, I believe I can say our trip to North Carolina this past week was successful. Our goal was to fly into Charlotte Saturday and return to San Diego Thursday. Our purpose was to officially accept possession of our warehouse in Mooresville, which we had leased to Jarit Johnson (NASCAR super star Jimmie Johnson's brother.) Jarit was moving his business and notified us in January that he would be leaving February 28th. I certainly was stressing over the fact that I was going out of town when I felt I needed to be here taking care of business. Although I had a lot of confidence in Jarit and had entrusted several possessions to his care, I was also nervous about trying to get the warehouse cleaned and ready for rent in such a short amount of time (4 business days.) I was scheduled to meet Jarit on Monday and a potential tenant from New Jersey on Tuesday. Dana and Brandon arranged for a friend of theirs who lives in Austin, Texas to stay at our home in San Diego to take care of our bulldogs, Lilly and Max, in exchange for an airline ticket to San Diego. She is considering a move to our area, so it would give her the opportunity to check out the area.
Our first "incident" happened before we left the airport when Jerry mistakenly put someone's cell phone in my carry on bag. We made it through security and arrived at Gate 34. He told me he would "be back in a minute" and left. I decided to move the bags around, so it would be obvious that I was using the seat next to me. When I picked up my bag, I felt something vibrating. I had turned off my cell phone, so I assumed it was Jerry's phone. I pulled it out of the bag and thought, "Oh, he must have bought a new cell phone." It is not uncommon for him to upgrade a cell phone not to be noticed by me for several days after he purchases it. I answered the phone and found myself talking to US Air security. Of course, I said what every thief says when I was told I was holding a stranger's cell phone, "How did it get in MY bag?" I followed that up with "My husband must have thought it was mine." It was obvious they were more interested in getting the cell phone than listening to my excuses. I told them I was at Gate 34 and very soon two armed security guards and a very frantic looking cell phone owner came around the corner. I had pulled my cell phone out of my bag, so I could show them how easily it would have been for someone to mistake one for the other. The owner of phone was very pleasant. Four and a half hours later we arrived in Charlotte.
Greg, a very good friend of Dana and Brandon who has become also a close friend of ours met us at the airport and drove us to our condo at Lowe's Motor Speedway. Having flown the red eye, we were road kill all day Saturday. Greg and Lisa came over Sunday, and we all went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few items and out to lunch. We so appreciated their willingness to interrupt their regular schedule to see that we had supplies and whatever we needed for the few days we would be in North Carolina. They also brought our truck to us, which is a 1996 Dodge Ram diesel truck named "The Red Dragon" by the younger generation in North Carolina. They tease us about our old truck, but we like it. We can go to Lowe's and bring home half the store in one trip.
Late Sunday afternoon it began to snow and by Monday morning, we knew we were not going anywhere. The area had the biggest snow storm they had experienced in 20 years. The Red Dragon looked like a snow bank. They have little snow in Charlotte, so the roads were a mess. Jarit agreed to meet us on Tuesday. I invoiced on line for our San Bernardino services on Monday, so the day wasn't a total waste of time. However, we knew that we wouldn't be able to accomplish much of anything with only Tuesday and Wednesday left to work. We were scheduled to fly back to San Diego on Thursday. The sun came out bright and early on Tuesday morning, so we went to Mooresville to meet Jarit. When I walked into the warehouse, I literally had to hold back my emotions. Jarit had cleaned it for us. It was as immaculate as possible for a warehouse. Not only had the cleaned the entire 7500 square feet, he had boxed up small items in boxes and really had everything ready for us. That and the big hug he gave me as a welcome meant (and means) so much to me. We chatted for a while catching up on our respective lives. Jerry and I went to lunch and with a great sigh of relief, we returned to the condo.
We were supposed to meet a potential tenant on Tuesday, who now lives in New Jersey. However, he had called and said they were covered in snow, and he had been shoveling it all day. He decided to come down later in the week. Greg and Lisa said they would take care of showing him the warehouse, since we were leaving on Thursday. They also insisted on taking us to the airport to catch our flight on Thursday.
We had a bit of another incident when going through security at Charlotte on Thursday. I forgot to prompt Jerry to remove my laptop from the bag he was taking through security. He became impatient when my bag didn't come through and when he heard it was because the laptop wasn't removed, he got very upset. He doesn't handle obstacles well at all now. He never had a lot of patience, but these days he has no patience. Since the laptop wasn't removed from the bag, they decided to search that bag and my other carry on purse/bag. I think they noticed I had my hands full with my husband, so they were pointed about carrying out their training but at least, they were pleasant with me.
My career has given me expertise in working with elderly, mentally ill patients, developmentally disabled clients, adults with addictions, persons with serious behavior disorders, and veterans with serious mental health problems. However, I have no expertise in the care of Alzheimer's patients. This is a learning experience. I know now that I need to prompt Jerry when he is in unfamiliar areas and has responsibilities. I am becoming an expert at redirecting him when he starts to get upset over something. There are some matters that require me to firmly disagree with him, but I am trying very hard to avoid that. Most of the time it works. When he wants to sell acreage and buy a helicopter, instead of responding as I would have a couple of years ago with "There is no way that is happening," I now can let it pass and let him put up the sign. In this economy, I think it will be a few years before the property sells.
Jerry and I have always been best friends. Yet, we have spent years trying to force our opinions on each other. It is not my way nor his to concede in any situation. I know that isn't a virtue, but nonetheless, it is embedded in my personality to push my point to the end. It requires a lot of discipline now to "let it go." When your loved one has Alzheimer's, it's amazing how quickly winning takes a back seat. Why was it ever a priority?
I had another "peek" this week at where we are headed with this Alzheimer's disease, and I know it is not going to be easy. In fact, I know it will be a very long way from easy. I just hope it is bearable. Thank God for good friends and caring people. They certainly made it work for us last week.
Our first "incident" happened before we left the airport when Jerry mistakenly put someone's cell phone in my carry on bag. We made it through security and arrived at Gate 34. He told me he would "be back in a minute" and left. I decided to move the bags around, so it would be obvious that I was using the seat next to me. When I picked up my bag, I felt something vibrating. I had turned off my cell phone, so I assumed it was Jerry's phone. I pulled it out of the bag and thought, "Oh, he must have bought a new cell phone." It is not uncommon for him to upgrade a cell phone not to be noticed by me for several days after he purchases it. I answered the phone and found myself talking to US Air security. Of course, I said what every thief says when I was told I was holding a stranger's cell phone, "How did it get in MY bag?" I followed that up with "My husband must have thought it was mine." It was obvious they were more interested in getting the cell phone than listening to my excuses. I told them I was at Gate 34 and very soon two armed security guards and a very frantic looking cell phone owner came around the corner. I had pulled my cell phone out of my bag, so I could show them how easily it would have been for someone to mistake one for the other. The owner of phone was very pleasant. Four and a half hours later we arrived in Charlotte.
Greg, a very good friend of Dana and Brandon who has become also a close friend of ours met us at the airport and drove us to our condo at Lowe's Motor Speedway. Having flown the red eye, we were road kill all day Saturday. Greg and Lisa came over Sunday, and we all went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few items and out to lunch. We so appreciated their willingness to interrupt their regular schedule to see that we had supplies and whatever we needed for the few days we would be in North Carolina. They also brought our truck to us, which is a 1996 Dodge Ram diesel truck named "The Red Dragon" by the younger generation in North Carolina. They tease us about our old truck, but we like it. We can go to Lowe's and bring home half the store in one trip.
Late Sunday afternoon it began to snow and by Monday morning, we knew we were not going anywhere. The area had the biggest snow storm they had experienced in 20 years. The Red Dragon looked like a snow bank. They have little snow in Charlotte, so the roads were a mess. Jarit agreed to meet us on Tuesday. I invoiced on line for our San Bernardino services on Monday, so the day wasn't a total waste of time. However, we knew that we wouldn't be able to accomplish much of anything with only Tuesday and Wednesday left to work. We were scheduled to fly back to San Diego on Thursday. The sun came out bright and early on Tuesday morning, so we went to Mooresville to meet Jarit. When I walked into the warehouse, I literally had to hold back my emotions. Jarit had cleaned it for us. It was as immaculate as possible for a warehouse. Not only had the cleaned the entire 7500 square feet, he had boxed up small items in boxes and really had everything ready for us. That and the big hug he gave me as a welcome meant (and means) so much to me. We chatted for a while catching up on our respective lives. Jerry and I went to lunch and with a great sigh of relief, we returned to the condo.
We were supposed to meet a potential tenant on Tuesday, who now lives in New Jersey. However, he had called and said they were covered in snow, and he had been shoveling it all day. He decided to come down later in the week. Greg and Lisa said they would take care of showing him the warehouse, since we were leaving on Thursday. They also insisted on taking us to the airport to catch our flight on Thursday.
We had a bit of another incident when going through security at Charlotte on Thursday. I forgot to prompt Jerry to remove my laptop from the bag he was taking through security. He became impatient when my bag didn't come through and when he heard it was because the laptop wasn't removed, he got very upset. He doesn't handle obstacles well at all now. He never had a lot of patience, but these days he has no patience. Since the laptop wasn't removed from the bag, they decided to search that bag and my other carry on purse/bag. I think they noticed I had my hands full with my husband, so they were pointed about carrying out their training but at least, they were pleasant with me.
My career has given me expertise in working with elderly, mentally ill patients, developmentally disabled clients, adults with addictions, persons with serious behavior disorders, and veterans with serious mental health problems. However, I have no expertise in the care of Alzheimer's patients. This is a learning experience. I know now that I need to prompt Jerry when he is in unfamiliar areas and has responsibilities. I am becoming an expert at redirecting him when he starts to get upset over something. There are some matters that require me to firmly disagree with him, but I am trying very hard to avoid that. Most of the time it works. When he wants to sell acreage and buy a helicopter, instead of responding as I would have a couple of years ago with "There is no way that is happening," I now can let it pass and let him put up the sign. In this economy, I think it will be a few years before the property sells.
Jerry and I have always been best friends. Yet, we have spent years trying to force our opinions on each other. It is not my way nor his to concede in any situation. I know that isn't a virtue, but nonetheless, it is embedded in my personality to push my point to the end. It requires a lot of discipline now to "let it go." When your loved one has Alzheimer's, it's amazing how quickly winning takes a back seat. Why was it ever a priority?
I had another "peek" this week at where we are headed with this Alzheimer's disease, and I know it is not going to be easy. In fact, I know it will be a very long way from easy. I just hope it is bearable. Thank God for good friends and caring people. They certainly made it work for us last week.
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