I am deeply troubled to see that another person has committed homicide and suicide. The family's photos in the newspaper are like those of any normal and happy looking family. A suicide note to a reporter indicates that a man and his wife living in Southern California agreed to kill themselves and their five innocent children. He claims they were left with no hope after being terminated from their medical technician positions at Kaiser Permante. The father further claimed that an administrative employee at Kaiser had told him a few days ago that he might as well go home and blow his brains out. This comment was supposedly related to an allegation that they were being fired for falsifying records related to child care subsidies.
Can we just pass this terrible tragedy off as the results to be expected from obviously mentally ill people? I don't think so. Most homicides are not committed by persons suffering with serious mental disorders anyway. Some crimes are so horrible we just want to believe the person was disturbed. Was it caused by untreated depression? We certainly have to assume depression had a role in it, but was depression the only cause or even mostly responsible for a young father and mother's agreement to kill their children and themselves? I think we have to dig a little deeper to identify what led to this awful outcome?
How do people lose so much faith in God and hope in living that killing their own kids becomes an option? How does a mind become so confused that it convinces anyone that killing their loved ones is better than leaving them behind? Are these decisions just another result of our failing economy? Are we a society that gives the impression if you don't have a job or a lot of possessions, you are unworthy?
During the depression in the late 1930's, my father worked for the WPA. The WPA were jobs created for poor people who needed work and at the same were jobs that improved the country's infrastructure. Thank God my dad's sense of self worth, his belief that all human life was valuable prevented him from taking his life, my mother's life and the lives of his children during those desperate times. He knew his personal worth was not measured by his level of income. His feeling of self worth came directly from a strong faith in God and values taught at home and in the classrooms.
Somehow we have to find out why my father and thousands of others like him who financially struggled in the mid 1900's and had so much less in possessions than people suffering today could persevere. Have we created a generation or two now that truly believes one's value is solely determined by their income? If so, how has that happened? Are we losing faith in God and His promise of protection? Somewhere in the Holy Bible He reminds us that he even takes care of the birds so why would we doubt that He would protect us...His children.
As a country, we are committed to an educational system that promotes a standard of leaving no child behind. However, offering a child the best education should never take priority over promoting human value systems. Yet, lawsuits over what is taught in the classrooms abound. Most are for the purpose of making sure nothing is said by teachers nor placed in the textbooks that would in any way promote values, especially those that may be taught in the churches. In fact, public school systems are prohibited from acknowledging God. I believe the separation of church and state wording in the U S Constitution was intended to protect churches and worship rights from government interference. I don't think our forefathers ever thought that it could be used in just the opposite manner by ambitious lawyers and non-believers to prohibit prayer in classrooms and forbid teachings of basic human values so carefully outlined in the Holy Bible. In fact, at the time the constitution was developed, there was prayer in the classrooms and noone was objecting to it. Even during the 1950's when I was in elementary school, a prayer was said each morning in public classrooms across America. Our school day began with singing songs like "God Bless America."
We are living in economic times in the USA today that require us to have a deep faith and belief that things will get better. When we can't trust ourselves, we must rely on God. Our personal survival depends upon it. The highest level education and brightest men and women can't promise things will get better and have the people believe it anymore. Man is losing faith in man. However, those people who never put their faith in man in the first place and instead have spent years trusting God.....they will survive. Those who have been fortunate enough to learn either from their parents, attending churches or private religious based schools will lead us forward. Wouldn't it be nice if all children were exposed to faith based values just in case their parents didn't teach them? Teachers are in the position to make that happen, but teachers have to fear that someone will sue them dare they mention religion. Too many teachers want to teach children it is wrong to believe in creation. I'm afraid we are throwing the baby out with the bath water now that God's values can't even be discussed in a classroom while doctrines that are not faith based are zealously promoted. Our public schools should not support a particular religious group, but teaching common values found within all types of religions could go along way in creating and maintaining a society of non-violent citizens. We tend to try to explain God's actions and ways with our limited capacities. Yet, God is all powerful. I believe that He could be a part of both creation and revolution. Won't that just be a big surprise for all when the end comes?
Teaching integrity and a faith based way of living to our children should be a priority. These common principles shared by all religions and the unity and sense of purpose coming from shared belief systems will bring communities together to influence our youth away from theories now being promoted in the public schools which disavow God, and leave us without hope in our darkest hours.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Life's Changes and Challenges....
The past week has been filled with mini challenges. Jerry was invited by his friend to fly over to Phoenix in the helicopter to attend the Barrett Jackson auction. They left Wednesday and returned on Friday. It was a neat experience for Jerry. We have often watched the auction on television, so it was fun for him to attend. I baby sat Carson on Wednesday evening, while her parents bowled. It was a good evening. She was fast asleep by 8:30 PM after playing, having dinner and finally a bath in Nanna's kitchen sink.
I am always uneasy when staying alone, although my house has a sophisticated security system. I also have two English bulldogs who hear every unusual outside noise and react accordingly. I slept in the downstairs family room the first evening, because the air conditioning system for the eastern end of the house was not working. Yes, in San Diego we still sometimes need air conditioning in January. I decided to sleep upstairs on Thursday evening without air conditioning versus camping out on the couch. When I am alone, I always have a gun at hand, a garage door opener and my car keypad so I can open the garage and set off the alarm in my car should I have a problem. I read somewhere that this could alert neighbors. Of course, the house alarm automatically calls the police in case of an emergency and the outside sirens on the house would wake the dead.
Jerry returned Friday afternoon. It was obvious he was pleased to be home. I was happy too. He was very tired and slept a lot Friday and Saturday. When he is tired, he seems to struggle with keeping up with conversational details now. I guess it could best be described as having a "who's on first....no who's on second" type of conversing.
I believe we could say that the "heart" of our relationship was created around having lively conversations. We often would disagree but both of us enjoyed the game of introducing "what if's" into the many scenarios we would lay out when talking about business and/or newsworthy events. He really can't do that anymore. He is showing a need for me to be more literal in our conversations. "What if's" only serve to confuse him. I am deeply saddened to lose this. I want to repeat anything that he doesn't understand until he gets it. Yet, that would only cause him distress. Instead, I let it go when I see that he isn't getting it.
I hate this Alzheimer's disease that slowly robs people of their being...their spirit...the essence of who they are and were then and now. Yet, I will walk beside him as we go forward and try very hard to make sure I respect him by clarifying the spoken word when I should and when it is more respectful to just let it go.....let it go.
Today...I believe it was best to let it go....I love you, Jerry.
I am always uneasy when staying alone, although my house has a sophisticated security system. I also have two English bulldogs who hear every unusual outside noise and react accordingly. I slept in the downstairs family room the first evening, because the air conditioning system for the eastern end of the house was not working. Yes, in San Diego we still sometimes need air conditioning in January. I decided to sleep upstairs on Thursday evening without air conditioning versus camping out on the couch. When I am alone, I always have a gun at hand, a garage door opener and my car keypad so I can open the garage and set off the alarm in my car should I have a problem. I read somewhere that this could alert neighbors. Of course, the house alarm automatically calls the police in case of an emergency and the outside sirens on the house would wake the dead.
Jerry returned Friday afternoon. It was obvious he was pleased to be home. I was happy too. He was very tired and slept a lot Friday and Saturday. When he is tired, he seems to struggle with keeping up with conversational details now. I guess it could best be described as having a "who's on first....no who's on second" type of conversing.
I believe we could say that the "heart" of our relationship was created around having lively conversations. We often would disagree but both of us enjoyed the game of introducing "what if's" into the many scenarios we would lay out when talking about business and/or newsworthy events. He really can't do that anymore. He is showing a need for me to be more literal in our conversations. "What if's" only serve to confuse him. I am deeply saddened to lose this. I want to repeat anything that he doesn't understand until he gets it. Yet, that would only cause him distress. Instead, I let it go when I see that he isn't getting it.
I hate this Alzheimer's disease that slowly robs people of their being...their spirit...the essence of who they are and were then and now. Yet, I will walk beside him as we go forward and try very hard to make sure I respect him by clarifying the spoken word when I should and when it is more respectful to just let it go.....let it go.
Today...I believe it was best to let it go....I love you, Jerry.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
My Brother....
My brother was born 86 years ago. He was the son of a share cropper, and the grandson of a fisherman who tried to make a living off the Little Wabash River in Southern Illinois. His father was my father. We had different mothers, because his mother and father later divorced and I wasn't born until 20 years later. His mother was 16 years old when he was born, and his father was 17. Before one judges his parents because of their age when he was born, it is best to keep in mind that 86 years ago people often married at a very young age. Little girls were raised to be homemakers and mommies, and little boys were usually working to help support their own immediate family even before starting a family of their own. Higher aspirations were only for the wealthy. His parents had three more children. One little baby sister died. Their relationship was turbulent. His dad was a rebel coming from a family of five brothers and one sister. His mother was too young and overwhelmed trying to handle three kids and a rowdy husband. In spite of all of that, my brother overcame the odds and succeeded in life on all of society's scales used to measure success. He was just that kind of guy. He was always responsible. Maybe it had something to do with being the first born. Maybe it was due to his apparent intelligence or as they would say in the world of psychology, his "innate ability."
I was born in 1942. He was already a Marine and serving his country in the South Pacific in 1941. Daddy was still a sharecropper, and my mother was a young Irish woman who all of her life wanted most to have a family and create a loving atmosphere for her children. Her mother and father had divorced when she was a small child. She wanted something better for her children. Her first husband died on Christmas Day leaving her with a five year old daughter. Together, she and my father had two children, first a son and then me six years later.
A few years after I was born, life in the United States significantly improved for all citizens. The war ended. Prohibition days were over. It was a time of peace in the nation, and family lives also began to improve. I can't remember the effects of the great depression. Being raised on a farm, I was never hungry. We grew our vegetables, and my father hunted for our meat. We raised chickens and our milk came from a cow.
I know it was a lot tougher for my brother. I am sure the personal issues in his family contributed to his choice of becoming a Marine. Apparently, that was a good choice for him and from what I can see, he only made good choices thereafter. He married a young woman named Lucile, and they had two children. That marriage lasted until she passed away after their children were grown. He then married Marilyn, and that marriage lasted until he passed away this week.
I have wonderful memories of his many visits home to the farm throughout the years and observed his success in his career and with raising a family. His children both graduated from college. I am sure he was extremely proud, and believe those were probably two of the most important days of his life. He knew the value of an education. In spite of his not having the privilege to attend college, he worked side by side with other well educated field engineers earning more money than he probably could ever have imagined when he was a kid roaming the countryside of Southern Illinois. How was he able to do achieve that? It was due to his intelligence, dependability, perseverance and desire to make a difference in the lives of those he loved. Yet he knew that with a formal education, he could have risen even higher in the company.
One might wonder how we could have had anything in common due to the age difference, but there is a bond that is formed between siblings whether caused by genetics or designated by God, that is strong and forever connected. We actually shared a lot of common interests. So many that I often wish we had been born closer in age. It's quite something when the first born and the "baby" of the family connect, and there are twenty years, a war and a lifetime of living between us. I can just imagine had we been a couple of years apart how close we would have been. Well...that wasn't to be, but we did share a couple of family reunions in the past three years in Southern Illinois. I arrived from California, and he arrived from Shawnee Mission, Kansas. When we parted the last time, he hugged me really tight and with tears in his eyes, he said, "Take care of yourself." As we drove away, I said to my husband, "I think my brother believes this is the last time we are going to see each other."
Thank you, Dear Brother, for all of the fond childhood memories (my childhood...your adulthood) of holiday celebrations on the farm, laughter, country music, 4th of July's and most of all, thank you for being a role model that has given me a lot of years of being able to brag about the accomplishments of my brother. Tomorrow you will be laid to rest. I will see you in heaven. "Harold G. Meserole 1922 - 2009"
I was born in 1942. He was already a Marine and serving his country in the South Pacific in 1941. Daddy was still a sharecropper, and my mother was a young Irish woman who all of her life wanted most to have a family and create a loving atmosphere for her children. Her mother and father had divorced when she was a small child. She wanted something better for her children. Her first husband died on Christmas Day leaving her with a five year old daughter. Together, she and my father had two children, first a son and then me six years later.
A few years after I was born, life in the United States significantly improved for all citizens. The war ended. Prohibition days were over. It was a time of peace in the nation, and family lives also began to improve. I can't remember the effects of the great depression. Being raised on a farm, I was never hungry. We grew our vegetables, and my father hunted for our meat. We raised chickens and our milk came from a cow.
I know it was a lot tougher for my brother. I am sure the personal issues in his family contributed to his choice of becoming a Marine. Apparently, that was a good choice for him and from what I can see, he only made good choices thereafter. He married a young woman named Lucile, and they had two children. That marriage lasted until she passed away after their children were grown. He then married Marilyn, and that marriage lasted until he passed away this week.
I have wonderful memories of his many visits home to the farm throughout the years and observed his success in his career and with raising a family. His children both graduated from college. I am sure he was extremely proud, and believe those were probably two of the most important days of his life. He knew the value of an education. In spite of his not having the privilege to attend college, he worked side by side with other well educated field engineers earning more money than he probably could ever have imagined when he was a kid roaming the countryside of Southern Illinois. How was he able to do achieve that? It was due to his intelligence, dependability, perseverance and desire to make a difference in the lives of those he loved. Yet he knew that with a formal education, he could have risen even higher in the company.
One might wonder how we could have had anything in common due to the age difference, but there is a bond that is formed between siblings whether caused by genetics or designated by God, that is strong and forever connected. We actually shared a lot of common interests. So many that I often wish we had been born closer in age. It's quite something when the first born and the "baby" of the family connect, and there are twenty years, a war and a lifetime of living between us. I can just imagine had we been a couple of years apart how close we would have been. Well...that wasn't to be, but we did share a couple of family reunions in the past three years in Southern Illinois. I arrived from California, and he arrived from Shawnee Mission, Kansas. When we parted the last time, he hugged me really tight and with tears in his eyes, he said, "Take care of yourself." As we drove away, I said to my husband, "I think my brother believes this is the last time we are going to see each other."
Thank you, Dear Brother, for all of the fond childhood memories (my childhood...your adulthood) of holiday celebrations on the farm, laughter, country music, 4th of July's and most of all, thank you for being a role model that has given me a lot of years of being able to brag about the accomplishments of my brother. Tomorrow you will be laid to rest. I will see you in heaven. "Harold G. Meserole 1922 - 2009"
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