Life's Changes and Challenges....

The past week has been filled with mini challenges. Jerry was invited by his friend to fly over to Phoenix in the helicopter to attend the Barrett Jackson auction. They left Wednesday and returned on Friday. It was a neat experience for Jerry. We have often watched the auction on television, so it was fun for him to attend. I baby sat Carson on Wednesday evening, while her parents bowled. It was a good evening. She was fast asleep by 8:30 PM after playing, having dinner and finally a bath in Nanna's kitchen sink.

I am always uneasy when staying alone, although my house has a sophisticated security system. I also have two English bulldogs who hear every unusual outside noise and react accordingly. I slept in the downstairs family room the first evening, because the air conditioning system for the eastern end of the house was not working. Yes, in San Diego we still sometimes need air conditioning in January. I decided to sleep upstairs on Thursday evening without air conditioning versus camping out on the couch. When I am alone, I always have a gun at hand, a garage door opener and my car keypad so I can open the garage and set off the alarm in my car should I have a problem. I read somewhere that this could alert neighbors. Of course, the house alarm automatically calls the police in case of an emergency and the outside sirens on the house would wake the dead.

Jerry returned Friday afternoon. It was obvious he was pleased to be home. I was happy too. He was very tired and slept a lot Friday and Saturday. When he is tired, he seems to struggle with keeping up with conversational details now. I guess it could best be described as having a "who's on first....no who's on second" type of conversing.

I believe we could say that the "heart" of our relationship was created around having lively conversations. We often would disagree but both of us enjoyed the game of introducing "what if's" into the many scenarios we would lay out when talking about business and/or newsworthy events. He really can't do that anymore. He is showing a need for me to be more literal in our conversations. "What if's" only serve to confuse him. I am deeply saddened to lose this. I want to repeat anything that he doesn't understand until he gets it. Yet, that would only cause him distress. Instead, I let it go when I see that he isn't getting it.

I hate this Alzheimer's disease that slowly robs people of their being...their spirit...the essence of who they are and were then and now. Yet, I will walk beside him as we go forward and try very hard to make sure I respect him by clarifying the spoken word when I should and when it is more respectful to just let it go.....let it go.

Today...I believe it was best to let it go....I love you, Jerry.